Time to Get Moving!

I wouldn't say weight was always a struggle, but an ever-present fear from as early as I can remember. Health wasn't prioritized in our home. When losing weight or eating healthy was mentioned, it was a fad, nothing sustained. Health and Fitness was a stigma. I wasn't raised on good health habits, encouraged to walk, or if I cared for myself. What was the point? Genetics set my fate that I would be "fat".

Fast forward to 39 years old and the weight of life (no pun intended) has certainly taken a toll on my overall health. I have dieted in the past with a lot of success but between the prices of keeping up with the plans and meetings, and the products that they "sponsor" to help you stay on track, I ended up at the same place or worse. I knew I wanted to be healthy, but I knew I was tired of dieting where my whole life reflected around what I was eating, and how many calories, points, or macros were in my food. It was impossible to keep up with especially for a mom who works full time while caring for her home, virtually on her own. When I decided to embark on this journey of finding myself I knew I did not want to include dieting for the rest of my life as part of the life goal.

As a mother I am used to running around and not sitting down, so I should have been "fit". But I wasn't. I was miserable. So I tried to work out. I jumped on the Peloton train and that was a fail. I was competing with work calls, household chores, and caring for the children to have time hammered down uninterrupted and the pounds added on. I tried including the kids in my workout routine, and though it helped us move as a family more, I still was left unsatisfied. And here is where it gets interesting. I thought to myself take a step back, mute all the noise and suggestions, and remember a time when you were most happy and in shape. And then I remembered, it was running.

Running for me equals freedom. I remember when I ran, my anxieties went away. It was just me and the beautiful scene you see above. Yes, I thought about life and what had to be done, but in a different light. There was peace about it, and that was one area of my life which was lost ... peace. So, I thought to myself can I run again on the brink of 40 and be successful? I got some running gear (which I will pin to our Pinterest account) and just went for it.

I put on some music and went for it. And I felt ALIVE. Floods of memories came pouring in. Simple things about music I liked, places I wanted to go, goals I used to have, and then anger, determination, regret, and guilt all set in. I was angry that I let it get this far, I was angry that I lost 10 years in grief, I was angry that I let all those voices win.

When I returned from my first run, I decided this could not happen again. I miss myself, but I don't know who I am anymore, and so it's time to find me again.

Below if you are in need, I have added some great gear to get me started on my run, It has been tested for the last 6 weeks and it is approved without breaking the bank.

---